19.A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax – OH, MY GOD!"
After a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier; but, while I was talking, the flight attendant brought me a cup of coffee and spilled the hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!" A passenger in coach said, "That’s nothing. He should see the back of mine!
Reminds me of an old joke where the captains says ‘Ladies and gentleman, I have to inform you that one engine isn’t working. There is nothing to worry about but our journer will be delayed by half an hour.’ Later he says, ‘Ladies and gentleman, another engine has failed, but there is nothing to worry about except our journey will be delayed by an hour. Shortly after he states that third engine had failed and the journey would be 2 hours late. At this, Paddy turns to Mick and says, ’Bejaysus I hope the other engine doesn’t fail else we’ll be up here all night!;
Nice one travelhog , I hope it wasn’t a four engine aircraft I’d have been more than a tad worried if it was….
Worst one I had was "Ladies and gentleman, let me first inform you I am a former RAF Fighter Pilot. Secondly we only have one engine working and would like you to remain calm whilst we land early at the clostest airport …." I can’t actually remember what airport but I think it was Singapore.
Talking of supermarkets (a bit of an aside). Yesterday in Morrisons they announced "OK, lets get ready to rumble"! Lots of smiles amongst the shoppers but apparently its code for each section to tidy up their shelves. Shame really, I thought they were about to break into a song & dance routine.
Did you know that if you stand in the middle of Tesco’s and start screaming everyone
looks at you as if your mad!!
Do the same in an aircraft and everyone joins in – funny that….
Oh, scary!…..how to make people take stay-cations in the UK….
Here’s another I heard today….
The pilot in question made an announcement over the intercom and said.’We’re going down,‘" that’s when everyone kind of pushed the panic button.
Southwest Airlines said it was a misunderstanding, saying that the pilot meant to announce the aircraft was going to descend to a lower altitude…..
Nice one Jo – assuming the position and closing my eyes would be my first thought….Obviously he made it..
Indeed he did – what made it even funnier was this was a student flight (when they had such things) and so was full of young people who had been swaggering all over North Africa, but suddenly going pale and shaking and wanting their mummies!!
No announcement, but on a small sea plane in the Maldives (so no door to the cockpit we could see everything) the co-pilot started furiously flicking through the plane’s manual whilst the pilot was clearly turning the plane around to head back to base. Very confidence inspiring.