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"...You'll Always come back to Yorkshire..."

These sort of tales always remind me of Jasper Carrot’s sketch with the nutter on the bus with an atom bomb in a corned beef tin.

You certainly had a live one there Grey Wolf

I’ve a recording by the somewhat more outlandish anarchist comedian Alexei Sayle who on a live album "Cak !" role plays the hilarious monologue of the typical bus nutter…

"Do you like sponge ? I do. I’m not allowed anything sharp !!"

Wakefield, West Yorks.

I came back to Yorkshire,after 3 really enjoyable years living and working in Kent in my early 20s…….worst move I ever made,as I loved living in Kent. Having said that,I’ve had a fantasticly interesting and varied(well I think so) life, but none of that was due to me moving back to my native county. Many people mistakedly take the nosiness of northerners for friendliness. Non flag waver Stan.

These sort of tales always remind me of Jasper Carrot’s sketch with the nutter on the bus with an atom bomb in a corned beef tin.

You certainly had a live one there Grey Wolf

Essex UK

Not a story about a strange travelling companion , but it is true, born a Yorkshireman (or woman) always a Yorkshireman. After all it is the best county in Britain….apart from Northumberland which runs it a very close second, but then I was born in Yorkshire.


In our travels most of us have had the dubious pleasure of sharing seat space and talk time on the journey with some travelling companion or other – a stranger – whose outlook may well be somewhat at odds with our own…

My most memorable was a young lady with whom I shared I shared the London – Leeds Coach run who had just finished a teaching stint in the Basque area of Spain where she’d apparently met a man in the mountains who was locally known and claimed to be ( and she fervently believed this to be true) the "real " Matthew ( i.e from the Bible) and that he ’ told her how much of our current situation and the book of Genesis could be explained by our original interplanetary evacuation from Mars….mmmmmm ( shades of Hercolubus again )

Had this come from the average "nutter on the bus"… wearing a Pack-a-Mack, wooly hat and purple socks and sporting a Tartan Sholley full of tins of Spam or something you’d probably not be surprised….we’ve all met them. Only this young lady was quite erudite, attractive, charming, articulate, well turned out, qualified to the hilt, having become a British ex-pat to live and work in Spain.

The…monologue continued for the next hour and a half about her entire family history where she went through each member of her family’s history in great detail, who now all lived in God’s own County, who had all worked and lived far and wide and returned here as her Grandma had once said " You’ll always come back to Yorkshire"!

This was the repeated "punch line" which concluded the life story of her brother, sister, cousins, uncles, aunts, nieces, nephews, (related to me in immense detail) who as her Grandma had predicted had once said, "You’ll Always come back to Yorkshire !"

As the wheels of the coach rolled relentlessly down the M1 you could almost feel that line coming up with each junction sign…"You’ll Always Come Back to Yorkshire"

As this went on I couldn’t resist asking one question rather tongue in cheek…could she account for Biblical Matthew’s current location at which point she looked me straight in the eyes and said,

"Oh that was one of the first things he told me…he IS coming back to Yorkshire…like my grandma said…"

…everybody…"…You’ll always co-"

Does anyone else have any tales of note from peculiar travelling companions…?

Wakefield, West Yorks.
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